It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like....November??

Hello, everyone!! Hope your holidays are going well... Ours have been going beautifully. This may be a lengthy update, but that's mostly because this is the first time that I've found a moment to update the blog in weeks...

Thanksgiving went wonderfully!! For being my first hosted major holiday, I don't think I did too badly. My future mother-in-law lent me her turkey roaster, which made things much easier by freeing up my oven for all the other cooking we did. Everything turned out deliciously!! It was so nice to have my mom, brother and grandparents here! Mom and Grandma were super helpful to me. I made it through the entire holiday and only cried once. Given that I'm the girl that cries at pretty much everything, I think that's a huge success. I would love to post pictures of the food we made and of the family, but I managed to lose my phone while grocery shopping a couple of weeks ago (go me!) and I lost all of my pictures.

The thing that seems to be on everyone's mind is snow. We haven't had any this year, which is very unusual for this area!! Normally, Boise gets about 1.55" of precipitation in December. So far, we've had zip! Nada! Nothing!! Needless to say, being the avid snowmobiler that J is, he's more than a little disappointed. By now, I've completely given up hope for a 'white Christmas'. I may be the only one who feels this way, but Christmas just doesn't feel the same without snow... However, our Christmas decorations are cheering me up and keeping me in the festive mood. We ran icicle lights around the gutters of our home - and when I say "we", I mean that J did it while I stood on the yard under him and passed up the strings of lights. We managed to pick the windiest day of winter to do this, and were chilled to the bone by the time we finished. J bought me a string of little snowmen that are on stakes for our yard. They light up and are completely precious. We bought a new Christmas tree this year! It's 7.5', pre-lit with multi-colored lights and already has a random spattering of family Christmas ornaments, ornaments we bought this year and red and gold balls in matte and glitter. It's definitely festive. I've been working steadily on my homemade Christmas presents and baking, and things have been coming along beautifully. I started out with chocolate holiday bark in three varieties, thanks largely to my mom. When she was here for Thanksgiving, we took some mom-daughter time to go shopping and make some sweet treats. She came up with the idea for and helped my set up my Christmas centerpiece - a small Christmas tree, pre-lit with clear lights and red and sliver ornaments. She also helped me pick more Christmas lawn ornaments - large plastic, swirly candy canes!! So adorable!! She also taught me to make bark and all I can do is wish that I'd known how to make it sooner!! So simple! We made white chocolate with cran-cherries, dark chocolate with cran-cherries and chopped almonds and peppermint bark. Sooo yummy!! I decided these barks (is that the right way to say that??) would be perfect in the boxes of Christmas treats I make for friends each year. In addition to this candy, I made two types of cookies and another candy... The first cookie I made was candy-cane sugar cookies. Basically a simple sugar cookie with a 1/2 cup of crushed candy cane mixed in, pressed with fork tines as you would with peanut butter cookies... Here's before and after baking photos:

 Recipe courtesy of RecipeGirl

They are very yummy and light. The interesting thing with these, which I could have anticipated if I'd thought of it, was what would happen to the bigger bits of candy cane after spending 10 minutes in a 375 degree oven... It came out in the consistency of taffy and rapidly hardened. It didn't make a difference in the end to the quality of cookies, but I ended up having to break strings of candy cane-flavored strings off of the cookies from when I transferred them from the baking sheet to the cooling rack. The second variety of cookies I baked for the boxes was a basic chocolate spritz drizzled with white chocolate. I love spritz cookies, regardless of the time of the year!! Last year I treated myself to a cookie press and I was instantly in love. It's a fun and easy way to get cookies into interesting shapes that you wouldn't be able to achieve otherwise. Spritz cookies are, as I like to describe them, dumbed-down sugar cookies. They're not as sweet as sugar cookies, but the recipe is very basic, made with things that you have normally in your pantry. In fact, I wasn't planning on these cookies until I realized that I needed a little something else in the boxes and realized I had the stuff in the pantry for them... They turned out beautifully and taste like Oreos!! I'll definitely be making these again...very festive!! I've officially dubbed them "zebra cookies". You can see why...

For my second type of candy, I opted for an easy one that my family usually makes around Christmas... cinnamon Santas' dipped in white chocolate. I added sprinkles of red sugar for fun. I found both the white chocolate and the candies in the bulk section at my local grocery store, which saved me a ton. They always turn out so adorable... :)

As you can see, it's not hard to make a LOT of these little guys... A good go-to Christmas candy for gifts, that's for sure.

My next cooking project that I took on was more on the savory side. I love keeping easy breakfast items around the house, and in the winter time cereal doesn't always cut it. I much prefer a warm breakfast (specifically the kind that doesn't require dirtying dishes). Normally I make breakfast sandwiches using english muffins, eggs, cheese and sausage, but I was getting a little bored with it. I remembered that my mom and grandma used to make breakfast burritos for my dad, grandpa and the rest of the family for our family trips to the cabin for hunting in the winter time. Everyone always loved them and they seemed so easy!! I used 1 pound of ground breakfast sausage, one yellow onion, one green bell pepper, 12 eggs, 1/2 cup of milk, 2 lbs of Golden Yukon potatoes, a couple of tablespoons of olive oil, spices and seasoned salt, about 2 cups of cheddar cheese and 22 burrito-sized flour tortillas. I combined the eggs and milk in a shallow pan, cooking until the eggs were scrambled. In the meantime, I diced the potatoes into 1"x1" cubes and tossed with the oil, spices and salt. Then I browned the sausage, adding the onion and green pepper when it was almost done. While that was cooking, I roasted the potatoes in an aluminum-lined cookie sheet at 450 degrees for 30 minutes, stirring once during cooking. When that the cooking was done, I put a little of the sausage mixture, eggs, potatoes and cheese in each tortilla and folded it like a burrito. Here's a picture of all of my yummy ingredients (minus the cheese and tortillas):

Once all of the burritos were wrapped up, I wrapped them in plastic wrap and then wrapped them again in Press-and-Seal (which is amazing, if you've never used it), and then threw them all in the freezer! Just 1 minute and 45 seconds in the microwave in the morning gives me a warm breakfast that I can eat on the way to work! I even had ingredients leftover to make a couple that were vegetarian! They were just as delicious as the ones that have meat, which is a nice option to have if you're like me and dabble in vegetarian meals now and again. This recipe is so versatile!! You could add all kinds of veggies, or play with different kinds of meats. It would be great with spicy sausage or bacon! However, BE WARNED: this recipe makes a lot of food! 22 burritos may not seem like a huge amount, but the burritos are actually good-sized. This was also very cost-effective! I would definitely encourage you to try it... I know I'll be doing it again for sure!

That brings us basically up to last week! I would love to post pictures of the Christmas gifts I've been making, but I don't want to spoil any surprises for anyone! I'll be posting more pictures after Christmas. Last week/this weekend has been an awesome intro for Christmas... I spend Wednesday night volunteering at Winter Garden-a-Glow for the Idaho Botanical Gardens here in Boise. I was working in a kiosk selling admission tickets to visitors and had a fabulous time seeing so many people come out to enjoy a beautiful place in our community! There were so many little kids coming to the gardens that night, and it was so fun to see them so excited, huddling with their parents in the cold and racing towards the beautiful light displays. Take a look at what the gardens have offer this year by clicking HERE. Simply beautiful. J, his mom, his step-dad, his brother and I will be visiting the gardens this Thursday and I'm so excited to see all of the LED light installations that are new this year! Thursday night we headed over to J's mom's house to help her assemble cookie trays that she gives out to her friends. I've never seen anyone own Christmas like she does! She makes somewhere in the neighborhood of 32 varieties of Christmas cookies each year, which explains why she asked us to help her put them all into trays. It was a great time just laughing and spending time in the kitchen. I always enjoy spending time with his family. Friday night we headed to the home of a long-time friend of mine to celebrate her graduation from Boise State University!! I'm so proud of her so it was nice to gather with her other friends and family and congratulate her on this huge achievement. Saturday night we headed back to J's mom's house for her Christmas party. About 80 people stopped by as we ate off of her huge buffet of appetizers and cookies, sipped our wine and cocktails and signed up for the door prizes she had waiting under the enormous Christmas tree. It was a really great time! And finally, today, J and I took the time to relax together. We slept in and then napped on the couches in front of the TV before he had to head off to work. As he got ready for work, I whipped him up some yummy stuff to take to work with him. Firstly, I made Chocolate cupcakes with Peppermint frosting. I had found this Pillsbury frosting at the grocery store last week (it was the last container of it!) and I simply couldn't leave without it. I already had a boxed milk chocolate cake mix in my pantry that I was trying to get rid of, as well as a half-empty box of candy canes... That resulted in these little babies:

I got about 20 cupcakes out of the batch. I topped them with the white, peppermint-flavored icing. The icing tasted differently than I was expecting. It's more of a vanilla-with-a-hint-of-peppermint than outright peppermint. I finely crushed the candy canes by putting them in a Ziploc sandwich bag, putting the bag between two pieces of aluminum foil and using my wooden rolling pin to smash them to bits!! It was pretty fun. :) Next I added about a tablespoon of red sugar to the crushed candy canes and sprinkled this mixture over the frosted cupcakes. They were delicious! The peppermint is definitely the commanding flavor in these - the chocolate is more of an afterthought. For dinner, I whipped up my mom's amazing oven-fried chicken, as well as some mashed potatoes, brown gravy (my favorite!) and buttermilk biscuits!! Needless to say, it's been a great day for cooking! Hopefully my culinary luck will continue through the end of the holidays!

That's all the updating I have time for now, but I hope you all have a very beautiful Christmas and a joyful New Years!!

The Big Picture...

Tonight, while unwinding after a long and hectic day, I sat on the couch surfing around the internet, a common evening activity for me. I ended up on the MSN homepage after logging out of my email account. I saw an ad for an article updating the status of the woman who was attacked by a chimp in 2009. I remembered her story and decided to read the article. The article turned out to be a video of an interview with the woman, whose name is Charla. She is completely blind, but has been fitted with prosthetic eyes, and has recently been given a face transplant. I didn't know such a thing was possible! She had lost her face during the attack, and has been living without one since then, forcing her to wear a veil when she goes in public so as to not frighten people who see her. I can't imagine that kind of emotional pain and torture. She also lost her hands in the attack. During the face transplant, they also conducted a hand transplant to give her hands, but the new hands lost circulation and had to be removed just days after the surgery. It was related in the video that shortly after her surgery, she was walking down the street and a little girl came up to her and said "hello". She related that it was then that she realized that she wasn't scaring people anymore with her face. She said that there aren't enough words for her to express her gratitude for the family of the face donor. Due to her blindness, she stated that she has no concept of her face, and can't feel certain parts of it even when touched due to nerve damage. But she stated that since her face transplant, people have told her that she was beautiful, and that she'd never been told that before. Her doctors say that she won't resemble the woman whose face she received, and that the skin of the face will conform to her bone structure to create a totally new face.

By the end of the video, I was fighting back tears. It seems extremely appropriate that I would see this video during the week of Thanksgiving. More often than I would like, I find myself stressing out about small things, wishing I had more of one certain thing or another, or nit-picking at small things that are absolutely insignificant in the bigger picture. While I make sure that I never take my life or my blessings for granted, I have my moments of short-sightedness. This video was an extremely effective reminder of just how blessed my life truly is. Aside from the physical things I have in my life, I can honestly say that my life is very, very full of love. Not a day goes by that I do not feel loved, appreciated or supported. How many others can say that? How many others can say that they feel happy every single day? I won't pretend that I feel happy all day every day, but I definitely feel happy on a daily basis. More than any other thing in my life, I am thankful for the people in my life that make it as beautiful as it is... my amazing mom, my ever-supportive and loving dad, my awesome brother and grandparents, my truly sweet and loving future-family-in-law, my incredible friends, and of course, my too-wonderful-for-words fiance. I have more things to be thankful for on this coming day of thanks than I could begin to list... and that is absolutely something to be thankful for.

My advice for each of you this week: Count your blessings. Seriously. I know that sounds totally cliche, but do yourself a favor and do it. Take 10 quiet minutes to yourself and think about the things in your life that you are lucky to have or that make you happy. I guarantee, no amount of turkey, Black Friday savings or pie can come close to the head change it gives!! Trust me!! I know as well as anyone the kind of pressures, stresses and emotions that the holidays can bring, but lets all agree to try to keep things in perspective this year - I would be willing to bet that no matter what you're during these holidays, someone else out there would count you pretty damn lucky!! Let's try to remember that!! It's what really matters, after all.

Watch the above-mentioned, completely inspiring video HERE. 

I've Got a Fever...

...and no, it's not the temperature kind. It's the kind of fever related to small, pink, delicate, adorable things with two legs, two arms, booties and the inability to express themselves through words. We're talking babies, people.

That's right!! BABY. FEVER. That's me. Guilty as charged.

I know, I know. I'm not the first to sing this tune. I also know that I have no idea of the real ramifications of having a baby. I'm not saying I want to have a baby now. I'm just saying that recent events have my mind choosing nursery colors. Last weekend, a couple that J and I are friends with got married. They have been together for years and have two beautiful daughters together, the youngest of whom is just a couple of months old. Due to a mis-communication between J and the groom, we arrived at the reception an hour early. The bride happened to be at the reception site and invited us to come wait at their house while they got ready for the reception (they had been married earlier in the day by civil ceremony). When we arrived at their house, the groom and J wandered off, lost in man-talk, and I offered to help the bride get ready (getting ready for your wedding reception while watching after two little ones sounded like a daunting task). I ended up being assigned to baby duty, and sat on the couch with the little one in my arms, watching her fight off sleep while she drank a bottle of formula. My heart fluttered as I thought about eventually doing the same thing with J and I's baby...someday.

Fast forward to today, I arrive at work late (which I will explain momentarily) and see that a client has brought in her infant daughter with her. She is beautiful as can be, sitting on the floor playing with a pillow that has a mirror-ish piece of plastic in it. She seems entranced by her reflection, big blue eyes watching big blue eyes. Against my better judgement (I know fully well how quickly I get baby fever when I'm around babies), I put down my things and sit on the floor with her, indulging in some baby-talk and making funny faces. She was eventually scooped up by mommy, off to her appointment, and I could only walk back to my office and sit quietly as the waves of baby fever washed over me.

Again, I'll say that I have absolutely no intention of having a baby any time soon. I definitely want to be married for at least some measurable amount of time before J and I have the baby talk in any degree of seriousness (we've had the baby talk before, but it was always in the "someday" tense). But I simply can't help it. It's like gravity - a force of nature. J knows all about my tendencies with baby fever and is always very patient with me for it. He doesn't pretend to understand how I feel, but he lets me feel what I need to feel and talk about it if I want to. Mostly situations like this make me think about when it will happen. My mother always says, "There's never a 'good' time to have a baby... It will never be convenient."  I agree. I know I'll never be as emotionally, mentally and physically prepared to get pregnant and have a baby as I will wish I was about 3 nights into a sleepless week, but I do think I can still prepare myself any way that I can. I recognize what a serious undertaking a baby is, but that doesn't make me shy away from it. Granted I don't have this fever all the time. It's just during and for a couple hours after being around little babies. But that makes me wonder... How intense will the fever be by the time we are ready for "the talk"?

Much else has been going on since I last posted. Halloween came and went, and I took that opportunity to decorate a little bit, complete with fake spider webs on the outside of the house with creepy plastic spiders, window clings that looked like pumpkins and ghosts, lawn decorations (four little reflective Halloween shapes on metal rods that you push into the yard) along the sidewalk, a life-sized cardboard vampire hanging on the front door and pumpkins carved by J and I!

It wasn't much, but I wanted to do a little something. We bought an immense amount of candy, having no idea what the trick-or-treating in our neighborhood was like, and were left with almost all of it. I probably handed candy out to 5-6 groups of trick-or-treaters, and I was generous with the candy. Having all the excess sugar laying around the house has been bad for my diet, and I've considered just throwing it away or sending it to work with J on more than one occasion. What can I say?? I've never been good at resisting temptation...

Last weekend, I finally broke down and started buying craft supplies to start making homemade gifts. I've started with Christmas ornaments, and this weekend I will be continuing my efforts, as well as making homemade gift tags. It's going well so far!! I've also finished making our return labels for our Christmas cards, which turned out really, really cute. The envelopes are red, and our labels are ivory with holly and berries in the corner. I'll have to post up a picture later... :)

Today has been hectic already, thanks to my usual Master of Messes... Huck!! Only this time it's not really his fault, or anyone's fault for that matter. As I've mentioned before, I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year. In an effort to start preparing for that in advance, on Tuesday I decided to bathe the dog so I didn't have to worry about it as we got closer to the holidays. J and I had picked up some new doggy shampoo that was advertised to be organic and anti-shedding. I bathed him as usual, using the hand-held shower nozzle to wet him down and then rinse him off, toweling him off with some junk towels that we keep in the garage. Everything went perfectly normally. About half an hour into his drying process, as he was tearing around the house, I noticed that the fur on the back of his neck and shoulders looked a little funny... I touched it and realized that it had formed into a giant mat! Ohhh nooooo......I thought to myself. I knew what this meant. Huck is an American Eskimo. His fur is beautiful, but very long and comes with a heavy undercoat. I knew untangling this mess would be extremely difficult and messy. I decided to let him dry off more before I attempted to brush it out (wet dog hair is more difficult to untangle), and as he continued to dry, more mats appeared. I was starting to panic. I wasn't sure anymore if I'd be able to brush them out because they were getting so big and there were so many of them! After he dried off a bit more, I realized that all of his fur - that's right, all of it - was matted. Most was in small mats that would be simple to brush out, but the hair around his neck and along his back were in clumps so large that they would have to be cut apart before I'd even consider brushing them...

I tried. I really did. I tried so hard that I ended up covered in fur, and stopped when the brushing started to hurt Huck. I made no progress in brushing out the mats, and started to worry what that might mean. When J got home from work in the morning, he too attempted to brush Huck out, and failed as miserably and messily as I had. He woke me up and asked that I research groomers at work that day...which is where Huck is now. When I dropped him off at the groomer we chose, Dirty Paws, he was terrified. As I explained the situation to the groomer, she felt his mats and told me that she probably wasn't going to be able to get them out. She'd probably have to shave him. I decided that he would look too ridiculous if she only shaved the mats off... it would look like chunks of his hair had fallen off!! I told her that if that was the case, she should just shave him all over to one even length. I feel so bad for him, he's going to be so cold!! And right before the snow starts... poor thing...

Maybe I'll get him a sweater... :)

Inspiration...

Call me unoriginal, but this time of year is definitely my favorite. The chilly breezes, golden and red leaves and the buzz of the coming holidays always make me feel nostalgic and inspired. So inspired, in fact, that I have  made a decision... I think I'm going to try to make most of my Christmas gifts this year. I've found so many inspirations and ideas from so many resources this year, and I think it would definitely make the first Christmas in our new home a memorable (even more so than it would already be) one! Perhaps part of this inspiration stems from the cooking craze that I've been under lately. Since we moved into the new house, I haven't been able to cook enough. If I'm not cooking, I'm thinking about recipes or looking for them!! Cooking has a calming, centering effect in me, and I love the feeling I get from making something delicious that brightens someones day. This year, I'll be hosting Thanksgiving at our new home for my mom, brother, grandmother, grandfather and (hopefully) my dad. Thanksgiving has always been a really special time in our family, a time that has the same family love and involvement that Christmas has, but with a toned-down sense of stress, drama and expectation. This is why Thanksgiving has always rivaled Christmas as my favorite holiday. Spending time in a warm, cozy house with people that I love dearly, laughing, cooking, sharing memories and stories from the year, drinking wine and watching holiday movies has been my picture of perfection ever since I can remember. I have definitely inherited the cooking gene from both sides of my family and I am really, really looking forward to taking this important step (hosting a major holiday) in J and I's new life together. Thinking of the things that I'd like to do in preparation for the coming holidays has me feeling crafty, creative, imaginative and sentimental, which is making me antsy to get started on my holiday crafts and baking! I certainly don't want this gorgeous time of the year to be over, but can't it just be the holidays already?? :) I'm so anxious to get started on the "fun stuff" projects for Thanksgiving and Christmas that I'm basically ready to start writing and addressing my Christmas cards!! Is that pathetic, or what?? Haha :)

Seattle, sweet Seattle...

Hello all!!

J and I made it back from the beautiful Seattle on Sunday night around 12:30 a.m. (or is that Monday morning??). We had a wonderful trip!
We departed from Boise around 5:00 a.m. and got to Seattle in the early afternoon (it was about an 8 hour drive).

We headed to J's cousin's house first, who we'd be staying with for the weekend. Soon after, his cousin led us to the bus stop, where we caught the 43 to downtown Seattle. We walked to Pikes Place Market, got some dinner at a place called Tap House (it has 160 beers on tap!!) and went shopping for a bit. Afterwards, we met up with his cousin's roommates for a beer at a hole in the wall called the Attic not far from the house.
The next day, we had the snowmobiling expo to go to in Puyallup. The drive was about an hour long, and when we got there we spent about 2.5 hours walking around the expo, picking up parts and accessories for J's snowmobile. We headed back to Seattle, and were pleasantly surprised when we found it bright, sunny and mildly warm.

Apparently, this is not a typical occurrence in Seattle! So we took a nap and then decided to take advantage of the nice weather. Again, we hopped on the 43 and headed downtown. It was wonderful to wander such an amazing city alone with J. We shopped and walked, and walked some more. We saw a march that was made up of literally thousands of people (I'd never seen anything like it!!).

Thanks to the nice weather, the sunset was absolutely breathtaking. We found a little spot to lean off of the back of Pikes Place Market to watch the red sun sink into the bay.

Then we found a restaurant that had a nice view inside of the Market and treated ourselves to some very fresh seafood.

After dinner, we picked up some delicious coffee at the very first Starbucks ever (I'm a corny tourist and demand that we see the typical tourist sights where ever we go hahaha), and walked back to the bus stop to catch our bus back to his cousin's. When we made it back to the house, we picked up the car and headed for the Space Needle.

This was definitely one of my absolute favorite parts of the entire trip. It was really, really incredible. We headed to the top of the Space Needle and walked around the top of it, staring out into the lights of Seattle and the dark bay, huddling against the freezing wind. We sat at a table against the windows inside talking about all of the places we'd love to visit and before I knew it, 2 hours had gone by. I was reminded of the hours we'd spent talking on our dates at the beginning of our relationship and I realized how important experiences like this are to J and I's relationship. Experiencing new things and making new memories together always strengthens our relationship, and in that moment I felt indescribably grateful for the wonderful man I'm about to marry. The Space Needle was the end of the night for us, and we headed back to the house, cuddled up and watched episodes of Friends on my laptop. The next day, we decided a hearty breakfast was in order before we hit the road... We found an IHOP on our phones and decided that it didn't look like a very difficult drive, maybe 10 minutes, so we hopped in the car and started driving. It took around 3 minutes for us to discover that the highway we needed to take to the restaurant was closed for the weekend, and we proceeded to get lost in Seattle for about an hour. We finally made it, and then ended up waiting for the person that we were carpooling with for another hour and a half after we were done eating. It was around 3:00 p.m. before we finally got on the road!

While we were on the road back to Boise, I worked on wedding stuff and was able to finish our official guest list. We're at 174 guests at the moment!! I think that that is a decent number of guests, and I'm excited to start on another project for the wedding!!

Mexico!!

Hello lovely readers :) Hope the past two weeks have treated you all very well. I'm disappointed in myself for not updating sooner, but to be honest I've simply been far too busy.

Not this past Friday, but the Friday before (Oct. 1) my office moved. There's only so much preparation that you can do for a situation like that, most of which is physical. You can pack, you can label, you can organize and clean, but in the end it's still going to be stressful as hell. And it was. We started at about 8:30 in the morning. J and I left the new site around 12:30, after I had basically unpacked my entire office and most of the moving had been finished. It was a shit show to say the least. Extremely busy, hectic and disorganized. Unfortunately for all of us, our office is filled with very strong, opinionated personalities, and as I predicted, they clashed during the move. Stress was high and patience was low, but luckily, we survived.

J and I spent the rest of the day talking about wedding stuff and decided to research a potential caterer. We ate at the Ono Cafe here in Boise, ID. They advertise themselves as a "hawaiian" restaurant, but their fabulous chef can make food to suit all different types of palates that will satiate even the pickiest eater. Friday is their buffet day, so we got to sample all of their most popular dishes. We were immediately in love. Their pork and chicken melt in your mouth, with their own unique blends of spices that are complimented by the other menu items. They even make their own salad dressing, both of which were tested and approved by J and I . :) Granted this is the only place that we've researched as a potential caterer, but taking into account the variety of dishes they can provide and their more than reasonable fees, we may have found the one on the first try!! A giant thanks goes to my very good friend and coordinator, Q, who recommended us to this culinary haven!

The last two weeks have also consisted Halloween costume planning, vacation planning and honeymoon planning. J and I are trying to figure out what we're going to be for Halloween. We can't decide between being an old-West bartender and a saloon girl or a Prohibitionist gangster and a flapper girl. So we're debating on that. Additionally, we're planning a weekend vacation to Seattle for this weekend, which we are both very excited about!! I've never been to Seattle, and J has never been on his own and hasn't been for a really long time, so we're really looking forward to exploring the city together. We're definitely planning on visiting the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, the original Starbucks and hopefully the Fremont Troll. I'm definitely planning on sampling some Washington wine and excellent fresh seafood. We got the idea for the trip from a friend of J's. There's a snowmobiling expo going on in a smaller town just outside of Seattle that this friend is going to, and he asked us if we'd like to go and carpool with him. This works out well for us because it saves us on gas money, and we leaped on the opportunity. J also has a cousin that lives in Seattle that said that we could crash with him, which saves us a ton of money on lodging!! We can't wait to get out of town together and experience some new things together!
And that brings us to the honeymoon plans - finally! J's father and his partner, S, have been generous enough to offer to provide us with lodging for our honeymoon! S has a contract with a timeshare company, and has offered us a 7-day stay in either Maui or Mexico. After a short discussion, we both decided that Mexico was where we really wanted to be. The condo is in San Jose del Cabo, the quieter of the two Cabo's. :) It's about 20 miles away from Cabo San Lucas. The condo resort that we'll be staying at has a ton of amenities to offer, and with all of the public transportation, getting to Cabo San Lucas for some additional adventures will be a piece of cake! We can't wait to fly off on our Mexican adventure!! I simply could not thank J's dad and S enough for their very generous contribution to our honeymoon!! We're planning on leaving for our honeymoon on the Monday following our wedding. The reasons for this are that we have a lot of out-of-town family coming to Boise for the wedding, and we'd like to get to spend the entire wedding weekend after the wedding (on a Friday) relaxing and unwinding and visiting with our families, having our post-wedding brunch and opening our gifts with our families. :) Another reason is that J and I are going to need some time to relax and re-group after the insanity of the wedding and before flying away for an entire week. It just seemed like a much safer plan for us, and would provide us with a little more time to make sure that we have everything together for the honeymoon rather than rushing off from the wedding or the morning after the wedding, and possibly forgetting something! Having our lodging taken care of my J's dad and S, in addition to the fact that we'll be paying for our round-trip tickets with J's points that are linked to his credit card (we're estimating that it won't cost us anything!!) means that we can save up to have funds to really experience the shopping, eating and adventures that Mexico has to offer us. I can't wait for our honeymoon!! It's going to be so exciting and romantic!!

Other than that, the wedding planning and homemaking continues as usual :) My next update will probably come after our Seattle trip, to share the adventures (and possibly pictures?) from that trip. Speaking of Seattle... I checked the weather report for next weekend in Seattle and it's supposed to be in the mid-50's with an 80% chance of rain. After discovering this information, J and I decided that an umbrella would be a valuable item to have in advance, so I went to find one today. I wanted a shorter one that I could put in my bag and carry with me while we're walking around the city, but the only one that WalMart had was leopard print. Something deep inside me told me that J would simply refuse to carry a leopard print umbrella in Seattle (hahaha) so I decided to check Walgreen's. I found one that was the right length in a teal/aquamarine color that I think J will find acceptable but isn't the typical boring black that I can't stand, but I was shocked to find that it was $13.50!! Who knew umbrellas were so expensive?? I was really surprised. I suppose that umbrellas are an example of those products you don't buy until you really need them, and at that point the manufacturers can charge pretty much whatever the hell they want because you really do need it and so they know you'll pay it. In this case the truth was expensive, but I bit the bullet and swiped my card. I'm sure I won't regret it when I don't have to stand in the cold rain in Seattle. :)

Have a wonderful week!! :)

Wedding Weekend!

Hello lovelies! Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!! I know I sure did! A great deal of wedding planning took place today between myself and some of my favorite girls. The planning started with plenty of lively discussion on Thursday and Friday, followed by bridesmaids dress shopping with my MOH on Saturday afternoon. We were determined to find at least a couple of dresses that were decent, as well as narrow down color options. We were successful! I definitely have decided that I'm firm on having shorter dresses, preferably something in a Satin/Cotton blend. I think it's soft, but doesn't look pretentious or too wedding-ish. I'm leaning towards bridesmaids dresses in a champagne hue with orange accents, which I think would look nice standing next to groomsmen in black tuxes with orange vests. Am I crazy or would this be gorgeous? Maybe I'm just thinking it's gorgeous because it's MY wedding, but my non-bride brain is also telling me that it would look good.

I had made plans earlier this week for H (bridesmaid) and Q (coordinator) to come over, drink some wine, eat some appetizers and make flower balls that we're hanging off of shepherds hooks to line the aisle at the ceremony. I bought orange and yellow fake sunflowers a couple of weeks ago, as well as some other supplies, and I couldn't wait to get them put together and see the finished products! In preparation, I made homemade artichoke dip, as well as a new favorite appetizer of mine, Jalapeno Pinwheels!! They turned out beautiful, not to mention delicious!!

After munching on some yummy snacks and drinking some wine, we got started. With Bridesmaids playing in the background, I brought out the ingredients for this project: hot glue guns and hot glue sticks, the fabric flowers, wire clippers, 2 Styrofoam and ribbon. Using the wire cutters, we cut the blooms of the flowers off of the stems about 1/2 an inch from the base of the flower. We hot-glued the ribbon in a loop to the ball. Then, using the tip of the hot glue gun, we poked a hole in the ball and filled it with hot glue, then pushing the remaining 1/2 inch of stem still attached to a flower into the hole and pressing down while it dried for a few seconds. We repeated this process over and over, placing the flowers relatively close together until the entire ball was covered in blooms. They are gorgeous! I can't believe how simple they are!! I love the look of them, but they took more flowers tan I was expecting to complete (we made 2, these were our "practice" balls), so tomorrow I'll be going back to the craft store for more hot glue sticks, more Styrofoam balls, more ribbon and more fabric flowers. Here's the finished product:

Gorgeous, agreed? I'm totally loving them... Can't wait to make more!! :)

Curvy...

J and I got a new X-Box 360 w/ Kinect this week! We're both really excited to get games that we can both play. He wants shooter games (big surprise) and I want dancing and exercise games. This afternoon, we were setting up our profiles on the gaming system. When you're doing that, you get to make avatars (little digital characters that look however you want them to - most people do what we did and make them look like yourself). I watched J make his avatar, and added occasional spurts of input as he chose certain features. As I was making my avatar, I asked him to help me in return. It came time for me to choose the...ahem, "width" of my avatar, and I couldn't decide between a thinner and slightly thicker version of the avatar. He told me to choose the thicker one. I said, "Geez, I'm not that big, am I?" "You're pretty curvy babe...", he replied, telling me to switch it back to the thinner version of the avatar for a moment. "See?", he said, "your thighs are thicker than that."

Ouch.

This is something that I think only women understand. I know that he didn't mean it in a hurtful way, but my eyes are still stinging from trying to prevent my emotion from spilling out of them. There is a sizable knot in my throat that I can't seem to swallow. It's no secret that I have struggled with insecurities related to my weight pretty much for the past 2-3 years. These insecurities come from a variety of reasons, and I'm perfectly aware that J loves me just the way I am, but that doesn't mean it didn't sting a little when he said that... okay, more than a little. I exercise regularly, and while I could eat healthier, I certainly eat healthier than most of the people I know, including J. So why do comments like that still dig at me? It's interesting how it takes days, sometimes weeks, to build your confidence up to a comfortable (even enjoyable?) level, and it takes about 3.5 seconds to damage it. I'm not saying that my confidence resides in J's opinion of my thighs. My ego is bruised, but my confidence is certainly not shattered. To be honest, he quickly followed up his comment about them with a compliment about how much he loves my thighs and my curves. I think that men simply do not understand or interpret certain remarks in the same way that a woman who has suffered from insecurities in the past does.

Sweet, Sweet Relaxation...

This weekend was yet another wonderful one. J and I spent the whole weekend together, and with no one else, which I thought was really great. I feel like we needed that, a chance to shut the world out and just focus on spending time with each other. I had a wardrobe make-over this weekend...inspired by my desperate need for work clothes. My work environment is an extremely casual one and for the past 4 years, I've been perfectly comfortable wearing jeans with holes in the knees and tee shirts, or shorts and tank tops, and while I may still wear those every once in a while, lately I've been feeling like my closet is completely empty. Last Thursday, I was attempting to get ready for work. Standing in front of my closet, I literally could not think of one thing that I could wear to work. I'm turning 24 in a few months, and the realization struck me that I don't have any professional clothes. No dress pants. No dress skirts. Very few dress tops. J has always been way more into professional fashion than I have, so I let him help me pick out a whole new work wardrobe! I ended up with 2 pairs of dress pants, 2 dress skirts, 6-7 dress tops, new heels, a new pea coat and some underwear accessories. I'm so excited!! I love all of the stuff I came home with, and I got it all at a deep discount, so I wasn't too sore in the pocketbook afterwards either...

Today, as the weekend was winding down, J mowed the lawn as I picked up the house a bit. Then he went to sleep before he had to go to work and I decided to make him some yummy treats to take to work and share with his fellow night-shifters. I decided to make what I am now naming Ooey-Gooey Peanut Butter Piles... So I thought I'd share the recipe with you!! :)

Ooey-Gooey Peanut Butter Piles:
1 cup corn syrup
1 cup sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 cups cheerios (you can use name-brand or generic...I used Honey Nut Cheerios)

Combine corn syrup and sugar in a large pot on the stove. Over medium heat, bring the sugar and corn syrup to a boil. Allow to boil for one minute and then remove from heat. Add peanut butter and vanilla to the corn syrup mix and stir until smooth. Add the cheerios and stir until the cereal is evenly coated. Then drop by spoonfuls on to waxed paper. Allow to cool and store in a container. Delicious and super simple!! Took me about 30 minutes!!

I highly recommend them!! A new issue that we've been having around the house is house flies! Whenever I discuss this issue with anyone else, they say "Yeah it's that time of year...". I'd never noticed that there was a "time of year" for flies. Don't get me wrong, they're not terrible, it's not like a horror movie in my house, but there's usually about 2-3 in the house every day. It's getting extremely annoying. It seems like I can't kill them before there are new ones floating around! This has apparently been a problem for other people as well because when we went to WalMart to find fly paper or fly strips, we found out that they had sold out of them earlier this week... So I got online and started googling natural ways to make fly traps at home... and here's what I found a sugar and vinegar fly trap... Here are the directions for making one...

First, take an empty plastic water bottle or soda bottle and rinse it out. You could even use larger containers (empty 2-liter bottles, empty bleach cartons, empty milk jugs, etc) if you wanted to make larger traps...

Next, use a sharp knife to cut the bottle into two pieces, making the cut just under the section of the bottle that starts to curve (usually where the top of the label is).

Next, pour about 1/2 a cup of apple cider vinegar and 1-2 teaspoons of sugar into the bottom of the bottle and swish it around until the sugar is dissolved. This will be the solution that both lures the flies into the tap (because of the sugar) and kills them (because of the vinegar).

Finally, insert the top half of the bottle, nozzle down, into the bottom portion of the bottle, creating a funnel effect. This will give the flies access to the solution, but they will not be able to get out because their instinct is to go UP, not down and THEN up. I secured the edges of the bottle together with Scotch Tape just to make it more secure, but this isn't necessary...

And voila!! Done and done! I'm hoping that this works to trap some of those little pests...

Truths for Mature Humans...

I thought I'd share some truth...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all of those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You'll never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to start my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house feeling confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance then entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Coors Light than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than make 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school students get dumber and dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you're going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their keys in a pocket or purse, finding their cell phone or Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed - first time, every time.


--thanks pinterest :)

Muddy Paws...

This morning has been awful and it's only 9:37... This morning I got up and got ready for work, while J and the dog continued to sleep. By the time I was finished getting ready and gearing up to leave, the dog was full of energy and insisting on going outside. So, I let him out. He did more running than anything else, a puppy-smile spread all across his face. He was kicking up the dew from the yard and running in figure-eights, completely pleased with himself. After a little running in the yard, I let him back in. The cat was meowing constantly, sitting by the dog door that leads into our garage (where his food and litterbox are located). This usually means he's out of food... but that wouldn't make any sense because I fed him last night... I let the dog back out into the yard so I could feed the cat in peace. Upon looking at his food and water bowls, I saw puppy-nose prints in the bottom of each, telling me that the dog had eaten all of Leo's food and drank all of his water sometime during the night. I also found a little, conspicuous pile of cat litter on the floor of the garage, telling me that the dog had been snacking out of the cat box...AGAIN. Greeeeaaaatt..... 'Too bad I can't punish him after the fact...", I thought as I walked back into the house. I walked to the glass sliding door to let the dog back in and saw him digging a hole, where we had already filled a hole and treated it with this no-dig stuff from Zamzow's. I couldn't believe it!! I'd only turned my back for 2 minutes, literally!! Luckily I had caught him, not only in the act, but before he had the chance to do much damage. I immediately came storming out of the sliding door, and he immediately ran away, bouncing playfully as if to say "ha ha you'll never catch me!!" I was furious!! It seems no matter what we have tried in the past few weeks, he simply refuses to stop digging. I called him over, and when he came within arm's reach, I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. Leading him to the hole he'd just re-dug, I attempted to swat his butt, but couldn't because he was thrashing about, screaming as if I was cutting his legs off! When I reached for him with my other hand, he snarled and tried to bite me!! Shocked, I released my grip and he immediately bounced away, tail wagging, tongue lolling!! I hadn't been hurting him at all, he was just trying to get out of trouble!!!! "YOU LITTLE SHIT!!", I yelled in my mind. I was so angry, my cheeks were getting hot. All four of his paws were covered in mud (thanks to the morning dew and the digging), and now I was between a rock and a hard place. He was muddy, but I was all dressed for work (not exactly dog-washing clothes). If I let him in, he'd track mud in with him, but I had to leave for work and he had just proven to me that he couldn't be trusted outside, and I couldn't put him in the kennel because he would cry and whine which would prevent J from sleeping after the night-shift he'd just worked. So, I let him in, muddy paws and all, telling myself I would sweep, mop and vacuum when I got home from work, since I don't work late tonight. I gathered my things for work as he followed me around the house, prancing and panting and smiling, only irritating me further. As I was walking to my car, I walked in front of the front window, where I saw Huck standing on top of the couch looking back at me, muddy paws and all. "F***ing awesome...", I muttered to myself. What a great start to my day.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue...

Last week, my great friend Q introduced me to my new favorite website (so favorite that it officially outranked Facebook for a week!!). This website is Pinterest.com. It's a virtual idea board. People from all over the world make their own, sharing things that they've found on the internet that they don't want to forget or find useful or beautiful, and then you can copy things onto your own board!! I have recipes of all types, inspiration for life, fashion, my wedding, and crafty ideas for the house and the holidays! I've already used a couple of the recipes I've found on there!! It's such a great website, and the best part is that you can organize the ideas that you put up by making multiple "boards". I'm officially addicted to this website, and recommend that everyone try it.

My mom and my grandma came to visit me this weekend from eastern Idaho. They arrived Saturday evening, and on Sunday morning J and I took them out to the winery where we are having our wedding. They absolutely loved it!! Afterwards, J went home and they came with me to go wedding dress shopping. I'd been once before, and found a couple that I liked (one in particular), but I really wanted to try more on before making an official decision. I tried on about 10 dresses, and then tried on the ones I'd tried on already once more. I kept coming back to the dress that I especially liked the first time that I went shopping. It's an absolutely gorgeous dress, and it's different than what everyone is expecting me to wear. I kept putting it back on and back on and back on and comparing all of the other dresses to it. And finally, there came a moment when wearing the dress when I realized three very important things: 1) I had no desire to take this dress off, 2) I had no interest in looking at other dresses, and 3) I could absolutely envision myself marrying J in this dress and looking positively ravishing in the process! It was then that I announced to my mom, grandma and my dress consultant, "This is it, this is the one!!" I was so happy I could've cried. At that time, the dress consultant came over to me holding a small golden bell. She said that every time a bride finds her dress, she gets to ring the bell. I rang it, and everyone clapped. Reliving that moment in my memory makes me smile and gives me butterflies... :)

In addition to the dress, we got a veil, a headpiece, a slip and my bra/corset to go with the dress. I am a vision of everything bridal when I wear the set, and I love it!! I feel so special in the dress!!! After we got home, mom and grandma headed home and J left for work. I invited my bridesmaid, H, over to watch a movie, bake cookies, and help me take my dress to my mother-in-law's house for safe-keeping and hiding from J's curious, peeking eyes. :) When H and I got to my MIL's house, I decided to try on the entire ensemble for her. She was so excited and absolutely loved it! She then offered me a very special, very old piece of family heirloom jewelry to wear as my "something borrowed". It's a string of opals and crystals, and looks like it was made to match my dress! So I officially have my something old (my great-grandmother's gold bracelet from England that was a gift from her sisters), my something new (my wedding dress) and my something borrowed (my MIL's necklace). All I need now is my something blue. I have a couple ideas for this. One is a sixpence painted blue, kept in my shoe, in Irish tradition. Another is a blue garter (cute, but not entirely original). And another idea is to have our wedding date stitched into the lining of my wedding dress over my heart. I can't decide which I'll do, so maybe I'll just do all of it!! :)

Labor Day...

This weekend was truly awesome, and not just because it was extra-long! It was the perfect combination of productivity and relaxation. On Friday, J and I helped another couple that we're close with move into their first home. It was so much fun seeing how excited they were and watching two people we love hit such a great place in their lives! It was interesting to see it from the viewpoint of someone who just got done going through all of that. Really, really cool! :)

Saturday I was bound and determined to get our garage in order. Since the move (almost a month ago, now!) our garage has just been stacked up with stuff that didn't really have a place. So, on Saturday, I requested an early wake-up and we got moving in really good time. We went to J's mom's house and picked up some 2"x4"'s and some shelving wood that she had been saving for us. Then we went back home and got started building some shelves. We used these awesome bracket things that we found at Lowe's... One set (which includes 6 brackets) makes a 72" shelving unit (with three shelves, 24" deep). They're HUGE! We made three sets, two of which we connected together by the top shelves with extra wood, and spanned the width of J's toolbox, creating a module effect - very cool! We hung spare shelf wood next to the door into the house for my cleaning and other smaller house stuff. Our garage is definitely looking more organized and like we envisioned! Yay for no more mess!! J is such a great fiance that he even missed the entire first half of the first BSU game of the season just to finish the shelves because I'd been dying to get them done for 2 weeks. Have a mentioned lately that he's awesome??? :)

Sunday we puttered around the house... J mowed the lawn and I did the dishes and laundry. He left for work around 4:00, and I finished cleaning up the house, packed my bags and left with Huck for Arco around 4:45. I arrived in Arco at my grandparent's house around 8:00, just in time for a rib dinner. I had made the trip to Arco to see the three generations of women in my family - my mom, my grandma, and my great-grandma. I get to see my mom and grandma much more frequently than I get to see my great-grandma (in fact, they'll be coming down to go wedding dress shopping with me this weekend), so I wanted to make sure that I made time to see my great-grandmother, better known as Grandma Whit. She is 88 years old and is convinced that she won't be alive by this time next year (to be fair, she's been saying that for about 12 years now). Even though she is strong and in relatively good health, the idea of not seeing her for a long time in case something does happen really upsets me. While I was there with her, I took that opportunity to ask her questions that I've never asked her before. Grandma Whit is an amazing woman. She has experienced so much life! She was born and raised as Thomasina Madden in Belfast, Ireland. On Valentine's Day, 1944, she met Virgil Whitworth outside a movie theatre. She had been going to the show with some of her girlfriends, and he was an American soldier with a pass to come into the city for the day. She was 21 years old. They were married in early September, 1944. They'd known each other for less than 7 months!! Then he was shipped away for TWO YEARS. When he was released, she moved all the way to Idaho to be with him, where they had 6 children. My great-grandfather died when I was about 2 years old, but I'm told by everyone that ever knew him what a great man he was. I'm sorry that I never got to meet him. So while I had my Grandma Whit there, I asked her about him. I asked her what it was like when they met, what he said to her, how he proposed. I asked her if she'd had any other boyfriends (she had three, and described them in awesome detail), and asked her who her best girlfriend was. I asked her about her favorite memories from Ireland and her happiest memories from Idaho. We laughed and laughed together, and I marveled in the opportunity to connect with her on a new, deeper level and appreciate her from a woman's standpoint, rather than a child's.

It was a really, really great experience. I know that I'll remember it forever, and I'm so glad that I took the opportunity to spend that time with her, and make those memories with her.

A Tolerant Love...

My terrorist little furball is currently laying on the floor, chewing on a beef knuckle-bone and zoning out the rest of the world. I never thought I would love something so much that I could get so mad at. About 2 weeks ago, our darling Huck dug two good-sized holes in the yard. I filled them the best that I could, and we were hoping that the yard would reclaim that space and the grass would grow again. Monday morning, J informed me that Huck had re-dug the holes that I had filled. I was sooooo frustrated. Then this morning I saw that he had dug a whole NEW hole in the yard in addition to the two he had already dug!! I was even MORE angry then!! But sure enough, when I got home, he was just as happy as he always is to see me. He came bouncing out of his kennel full of love and tail-wags for me, all smiles and licks! And tonight he's been so full of energy that he drug me out of my nasty work mood. I'm in the midst of a very tolerant love...

September 14, 2012

That's it. That's the date. That's THE date. That's THE DATE. That's the date J and I set for our wedding. Once we decided, I swore I could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the back of my brain, or that announcer-guy-voice shouting "And they're off!!"

It seems so surreal, possibly because it's more than a year away. But it's for-sure set. We put the deposit down on the winery (Sawtooth Winery) for that day. I can't believe it. Actually, it's quite believable, but our lives have been so hectic since we got engaged (two engagement parties and buying a house will do that...) that I don't think I really ever had time to consider the fact that the day would actually come some day. I mean, sure... I've fantasized about walking down a grassy aisle wearing a dream-worthy dress and standing next to J at the end of it. I've imagined popping bubbly with my family and friends and celebrating our wedding. I've never doubted that I wanted to marry J, ever... but wanting to get married and planning your wedding - ESPECIALLY after setting the official date and putting a deposit down on a venue - are two extremely different sensations! Both beautiful, both fun and exciting, but one is definitely more intense than the other.

It seems like the more I delve into the planning process the more I discover things that must be done.... It's like a labyrinth of dresses and cakes and favors and food and bridesmaids dresses and tuxedos..... I could go on and on. Becoming a bridezilla is my worst fear, but in some sick, twisted sense I can see how it could happen. Especially considering the fact nobody cares more about your wedding than you (and if you're lucky like me, your fiance). I can definitely see how time consuming this is going to be, and at this point, I'm just trying to get organized and prepare myself.

J and I have come up with a very cute idea for favors for the wedding... From the beginning I've wanted to do something home-made and edible for the favors, something comfort-food-ish. Originally I was planning on putting together Chinese take-out boxes with homemade cookies inside, but then I was honest with myself and realized that I would have to bake literally hundreds of cookies in order for that to work. That's not exactly what I had in mind for keeping myself stress-free the week before the wedding - I'm already going to have enough on my plate! I was talking about this to J, and we came up with a great idea... Cookie Jars!! No...not the jars that sit on the counter at your grandmother's house and hold cookies... I'm talking about cookie recipe jars. You know...the jars that you usually get around Christmas time that have the dry ingredients for a cookie recipe in them, and a recipe attached? Those!! We got online and found a few different cookie and brownie recipes and we're both really excited about the idea! The great part? Because the items inside the jar won't spoil, and the jar is air-tight, we can make them a bit at a time all year long!! It will be so much less stressful as we get nearer to the wedding! Plus we can do different recipes and we can style the jars up with cute fabrics, ribbons and monogrammed labels! :) I'm really excited about this idea and I can't wait to get started on them to see what they look like outside of my imagination!!

But for today, I'm laying aside the wedding planning... We accomplished something really huge by reserving the venue, so tonight J and I are going to the fair. Greasy fair food and some much-needed wandering in the sun should flush any wedding stress I'm currently experiencing...

In Sickness and In Health...

Yesterday, J woke up with a fever, nausea and digestive issues to beat the band. We considered the usual - the flu, a spider bite, etc... He ate nothing but 4 saltine crackers all day, and he couldn't even keep that down. He slept almost the entire day. By 9:30pm, he was almost unable to walk and his fever had hit nearly 101. He made the decision to have me take him to the emergency room. We hurried there, and waited for about half an hour before they called him back. The first temperature measure at the hospital had him reading over 103 degrees. I began to feel very afraid.

J has been diagnosed with hypokalemia in the past. Hypokalemia is linked to potassium, blood sugar and hydration. When he gets too dehydrated, all of these levels drop dangerously low. If it gets bad, he loses the functioning of his hands, eventually he will black out, then his arms will become paralyzed against his chest in what they call "preying mantis arms". It can be fatal if not treated promptly. The ER was extremely busy. When the finally allowed us to come back into the Emergency Department out of the lobby, the only place they had for him was a bed in the hallway. Due to his dehydration, the nurse had an impossible time finding veins in his arm to get blood from and put an IV into. She dug around, and eventually called over another nurse to help her find one. As they continued to search, he became even more dehydrated. His hands had become white, they were ice cold and he could barely make a fist. He told me that he could feel what was happening next - he would black out in a matter of minutes without fluids. Unfortunately he couldn't hold anything down, so drinking water wasn't an option. He needed the IV right away. Within a minute, they had wheeled him into a recently-emptied room and hooked him to an IV as I snapped at the nurse to please hurry. By the time he got the IV it was after 11pm.

2.5 liters of IV fluids, 2 cups of ice chips, 4 blood draws, countless blood tests and 2 samples later, it was after 2am. The doctor came in an stated that his lactate levels were high. He explained that lactate is the chemical that builds up when you overwork your muscles, but it can accumulate in areas that blood is rushing to due to an infection. His lactate levels were very high, and the doctor said he wanted to test his blood again to check them again. If they weren't lower than they had been at the start of the visit, he would be staying the night. Another blood sample was taken and then we were left in the room alone again. Just me, J, and our fear. He told me it was the longest time that he'd been in the hospital that he could remember, and that he was scared of what might be wrong. I told him I was scared too, and teared up. We were finally discharged after 4am.

As I watched this man that I love so much laying in a little uncomfortable bed, I could't believe how afraid I was that something was seriously wrong with him. I realized that I'm terrified of him being sick, or experiencing any pain or discomfort or sadness of any kind. I wished desperately that it was me laying in that bed, going through the anxiety and pain. I realized that this is a part of marriage that I had signed on for, that I hadn't even considered when I'd said yes to his proposal. Of course I wouldn't change it. Of course I would take on all the illness in the world if it meant spending it with J. Most significantly, I realized that I would gladly spend as much time as I had to sitting in uncomfortable hospital chairs, breathing too-sterilized hospital air for as many hours and days as I had to, because that's how much I love him. I would sit and hold his hand and bother the nurses as much as I had to to make sure that he got the best of care and the most comfort possible. One of the things marriage means to me: Suffering when the one you love is suffering, and staying glued to their side as long as it takes for them to feel even the slightest bit better. It means wishing it was you that was suffering, not them. It means putting aside your wants as long as necessary, just so that they feel better, even if it's just by a little. It means being for them what you would want them to be for you if you were in that situation.

The Cone of Doom...

On Thursday, J told me that he had spotted a large black lump under the skin on Huck's belly, right where his testicles should be. We both immediately panicked. In a fear that it was an undescended testicle or a tumor, we called our veterinary hospital in a rush. We scheduled him for an exam, and thought that while he's there he may as well get the whole kit-n-caboodle, so we also scheduled a neuter, vaccinations and a microchipping. Yesterday we arrived at the hospital at 8:00 a.m., and walked him into the lobby. He was shaking with fear and refused to walk anywhere with the nurse. When we finally got him to go with her to the examination room, she said that the vet had checked quickly and stated that the black lump was simple the color of his skin over his testicle and there was no reason to worry. Both extremely relieved, we left him there to undergo his procedures. We were instructed to return between 4:30 and 5:30 in the afternoon to pick him up. When we picked him up, they told us that everything had gone fine. With new tags indicating that he had a microchip, that he had a rabies vaccine and that he was licensed with Ada County, a small bottle of animal ibuprofen, and a cone to put on him later, we headed home. We'd been so worried about him, we were just happy to have him back home and healthy.

By midnight last night, his anesthesia from the surgery had worn off and he was experiencing some major anxiety, agitation and pain. He was bouncing all over the place sitting for a few seconds before moving a foot and sitting again. He was inconsolable and the cone was only making it worse. He wouldn't stop crying!! I finally broke down and called a 24-hour vet clinic to ask them if there was anything more I could do for him. The woman on the other end of the line told me that the anxiety was being caused both by the cone and by the anesthesia wearing off. She stated that he was awake but very disoriented, and that was making the cone seem all the more frightening. There was nothing else to be done but comfort him and let him work it out. We were worried that he would lick his stitches if we took the cone off, but we knew for certain that neither of us would get any sleep if we kept the cone on, as he would cry through the entire night. I had to work at 7:30 this morning, and I would be teaching an 8-hour class, so not getting any sleep was NOT an option for me. J, being the wonderful, considerate fiance that he is, volunteered to stay up with him and try to get him to be quiet so I could sleep for work. He stayed up the whole night, and came to bed when my alarm went off at 6:20 a.m!! He obviously crashed immediately after being awake for almost 24 hours!!

So today I am reminded of what a lucky girl I am. How many men do you know that would volunteer (that's right - I didn't even ask him to!) to stay up through the entire night with a crying puppy so that their fiancee could sleep?? I only know of one, and I'm proud to say that he's mine! It makes me imagine what kind of dad he's going to be when we finally have children... A great one, no doubt! :)

I love my mom...

Today is a very special day! It is my mom's birthday!! Of course I would never post what age she is turning today, but regardless of the number, it is her special day, today. I am very sad that I couldn't be in Idaho Falls sharing this day with her, but I hope that she is having a wonderful one just the same.

My mom's birthday always makes me reflect on my relationship with my mother and how it has changed over the years. When I was a really little girl, she was the one who made my entire life function the way that it should. It was just her and I for years when I was really, really young, and I think that mindset stuck for my entire life. We watched I Love Lucy while I watched a remote bounce on her belly from my baby brother kicking before he was born. She picked my clothes and loved me unconditionally. She made school happen, she made amazing food magically appear out of thin air. She made spoons from the kitchen into shovels for the yard, she understood why I loved Barbie, and posted all of my scribbled art and school work on the fridge proudly. She curled my bangs and let me paint her toenails, she made thousands of cookies, brownies, rice krispie treats and popcorn balls for my classes and took me shopping for school clothes.

As I got older, she was there to drive me to meet with my friends. She listened to me recite essays for school the night before they were due, and taught me how to shave my legs. She let me pierce my ears and showed me how to put on eyeshadow, mascara and lip gloss. Every time I cried because a boy was mean to me, she was there. Every time I fought with a friend, she was there. Every time my little brother drove me to the very brink of insanity, she was there.

As I grew even older, she attempted to teach me to drive a manual (along with the support of my grandma), and she took me to take my drivers test. She waited up for me when I missed curfew, and there to dry my tears when I got my first speeding ticket. She met boyfriend after boyfriend, and cried when I graduated high school. She cried even harder as I pulled out of our driveway for the last time, and drove myself all the way to Boise for college. She came to visit me in all of my tiny little apartments that I've held over the years, and she indulged every relationship I pursued. And when I experienced a broken heart to top them all, I ran home. Curled up on my mom's bed, with my head on her shoulder, I cried as freely and openly as I needed to. There was no judgement. And after, she poured me a glass of wine and we watched Friends, episode after episode until I felt like myself again.

And now, just as she always has been, she is by my side every day, even from hundreds of miles away. Infinitely supportive and loving, she listens as I vent about work, about friends, about fights and housework. She supports me, and keeps me grounded. She loves me and reminds me of how lucky I am to have the wonderful life that I do. Funnily enough, I am certain that I would not have the amazing life that I do without her guidance, love and support. She is my mother, my friend, my mentor and my therapist. I appreciate her for all she has ever been and all she is to me every day. Some day, my children will love her just as much as I do, and she will once again experience the first Christmases, frosting cookies, bruised knees and graduations from kindergarten and college. She will be just as amazing at being a grandmother as she has always been at being a mother. And I know that I will be a great mother because I have the best role model I could have ever hoped for.

Happy Birthday, mom!! I love and appreciate you more than ever!

Time flies when you're having fun...

This weekend has been a complete and total blur. We moved on Friday and it's been nothing but shopping for the stuff we didn't know we needed, and unpacking and organizing and sorting through things for the past 3 days. It has been completely wonderful, though. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Today I am headed back to work after being off yesterday, and all I want to do is stay home and continue unpacking and organizing. Making today even harder is the fact that my amazing fiance, J, took the whole week off of work. As I've mentioned before, we don't always get to spend the most time with each other during the week. So knowing that he'll be home when I'm not is killing me. I'd love to have that extra time with him. So many new things have come into our lives this weekend!! New house, new washer and dryer, new refrigerator, new decorations for the house, new furniture, new dishes, new silverware!! I'm still adjusting...

Last night, H came over with another good friend, E. E moved away a few years ago, and we've all missed her terribly so I was thrilled that she was in town and that I was going to get to see her and she was going to get to see me, J, Huck and the house! We were all sitting in our living room enjoying fruity cocktails and snacking on raspberries when she said to me that our house felt very "grown up". I secretly relished in this moment! As I described before, I have this overwhelming need to make this home into the home I've always wanted to have but has always been outside of my reach. I've always wanted a home that was coordinated, well put-together, clean and most importantly - comfortable. Success!! The house is coming along beautifully. I can't wait to have more family and friends come and visit so that they can share in our excitement. I can't remember the last time I felt this happy, secure, calm and excited all at once!! I'm so enjoying the smallest things, from doing the dishes at the sink under the window that overlooks my dog playing in the yard, to planting flowers in my new planter, to watching J's face as he gets excited when the surround sound speakers finally work.  Throughout the past few years, I've considered compiling advice for my future daughter (if I'm lucky enough to have one). I think that I would most definitely include: "It's true that you have to pay your dues to have the life that you want. If you want something, you have to go out and get it! Make it happen for yourself!! You'll never truly appreciate anything without getting your hands a little dirty."

I've paid my dues, but I wouldn't change a single one. I have a better life than I could have ever dreamed, and I appreciate it a thousand times more because of those dues.